In which . . . I think too much
Me: I hate being a girl.
K: Aww. Me too
Me: Not for THAT reason necessarily, although it IS a good reason to hate being a girl.
K: Oh okay. Hehe well i'm going to go to bed.
Me: Wait?
Me: I hate being a girl because it's unbearable to think about being alone but it's unbearable to think about not being alone because it hurts too much when you come back to reality and realize that you really ARE alone and it's always been that way and it may not ever change.
K: It might...always be positive.
Me: I didn't say it was definitely NOT -- but there's always that chance.
K: Well yeah. Same with all of the rest of us
Me: I don't think he's that cute, but he completely intrigues me. He's an athletic math boy. I don't understand either of those things so I am completely awed by this boy. I want to know him -- but it scares me and I don't want to make him have to put up with me if he doesn't WANT to.
K: No one is forcing him chica.
K: So this is okay.
Me: But I don't even see him.
K: Don't over analyze. Turn your brain OFF
K: Okay?
K: hahaha
Me: I "worship from afar"
Me: But I CAN'T! I have HOMEWORK!
K: Turn your feelings side off.
K: Goodnight
Me: But I've done that too much and it gets sad
Me: Ok. Sweet dreams.
Nikki K., you understand, yes?
To everyone else: I'm sharing this because sometimes, I feel like I'm not a typical girl. I probably look/act/talk etc., like I don't care and I don't like guys at all. That's NOT the case. I'm only like that because it's too hard to let myself hope and dream. It always ends up hurting.
An athletic math boy. I love how I word things sometimes . . .
~MK
K: Aww. Me too
Me: Not for THAT reason necessarily, although it IS a good reason to hate being a girl.
K: Oh okay. Hehe well i'm going to go to bed.
Me: Wait?
Me: I hate being a girl because it's unbearable to think about being alone but it's unbearable to think about not being alone because it hurts too much when you come back to reality and realize that you really ARE alone and it's always been that way and it may not ever change.
K: It might...always be positive.
Me: I didn't say it was definitely NOT -- but there's always that chance.
K: Well yeah. Same with all of the rest of us
Me: I don't think he's that cute, but he completely intrigues me. He's an athletic math boy. I don't understand either of those things so I am completely awed by this boy. I want to know him -- but it scares me and I don't want to make him have to put up with me if he doesn't WANT to.
K: No one is forcing him chica.
K: So this is okay.
Me: But I don't even see him.
K: Don't over analyze. Turn your brain OFF
K: Okay?
K: hahaha
Me: I "worship from afar"
Me: But I CAN'T! I have HOMEWORK!
K: Turn your feelings side off.
K: Goodnight
Me: But I've done that too much and it gets sad
Me: Ok. Sweet dreams.
Nikki K., you understand, yes?
To everyone else: I'm sharing this because sometimes, I feel like I'm not a typical girl. I probably look/act/talk etc., like I don't care and I don't like guys at all. That's NOT the case. I'm only like that because it's too hard to let myself hope and dream. It always ends up hurting.
An athletic math boy. I love how I word things sometimes . . .
~MK
posted by Mari Kate @ 12:55 AM
2 Comments:
At Thursday, January 27, 2005 8:08:00 PM,
Nikki :) said…
Haha...I totally understan MJ.
Know why?
Cuz I am exactly the same...I do exactly the same thing when it comes to guys...and it is hard...but at least you have us to lean on :)!
It will happen for ya, tho, girlie, don't worry! God has his plans...he'll give you what your heart desires in his own time...even if you don't want to wait that long :P!
But, I mean, it's easy to say that kinda stuff...it's harder to believe it. I can relate, though, girl. I've "admired from afar" forever, as well. We gotta get some guts!!! They should offer a class in that!!
Anyway, I'm always here for you girlie, if you need to chat...once my comp. gets fixed, that is!! Lol!!
I'll talk to you tomorrow, girlie, and I am so excited that you're coming to The Vine!!! I luv ya and someday the man of your dreams will too, cuz you are FABULOUS!!! (and a major hottie as well ;)!! hee hee!)
At Thursday, January 27, 2005 9:45:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
awesome! You got off work to go to the Vine? that's great! *sigh* i just got back from Cru and now I'm tired from a crazy day, however, i'm NEVER too tired to leave some lovin'. hahaha. H'anyway, seriously girl... cut out the worry. It won't help at all in the long run, and it will only make you want to eat licorice and ice cream and ... beansprouts. So yeah, it will totally work out. God will not let you suffer. Jeremiah 29:11 girl... check it out again. for serious. I love ya. -KB
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