My baby brother likes a girl
Back in the day when Timmy was a baby, we swore that he and Leah were going to like each other. But then we didn't see Leah's family again for like, 10 years.
Timmy's gone wild for this gal named Kim. At least they're roughly the same age. He told me that he was having a hard time telling her that he loved her. And I decided that he needed a list of rules and boudaries to base his relationships with young ladies on. And thus, "Rules for Appropriate Conduct with Young Ladies" was born. (Keep in mind that this was written to a teenager who has no business being involved with young ladies right now at a level deeper than friendship.)
Rules for Appropriate Conduct with Young Ladies
1. You're 15. You don't even know what love is yet, really. Tell her that you appreciate her. The word "love" should always be reserved for your family and your fiancee. She is neither.
2. When you're 15, it's appropriate to talk with her and hang out. Nothing more.
3. When you're at an age where it would be appropriate to consider marriage, then it would be appropriate for you to tell her that you loved her, but not until you were fairly certain that you were going to really be getting married.
4. Hugging is ok, but only when it is clear that you're only doing it because you see her as a sister and you are doing it as a brother. UNLESS you were in a romantic relationship with her.
5. Once you reach an age where it would be appropriate to consider marriage and you were in a relationship with a girl, it would be appropriate to hold hands and hug, but only after you were reasonably certain that you were going to get married. This doesn't mean that you have to wait until the day before you propose. It just means that you shouldn't be rushing into things.
6. Once you get engaged, it is ok to kiss her, but you need to be careful what ind of kissing you're doing -- in other words, no tongue! It makes it too easy to move on to other stuff.... I would suggest short kisses and avoid the mouth as much as possible.
7. When you are married, you can sleep with her.
8. Until you're married, no touching her posterior.
9. Never use the L-word unless you are in a romantic or familial relationship with someone of the opposite gender. It is too awkward for everyone involved. Instead, say, "I appreciate you."
10. No calling someone of the opposite gender "Babe" unless she is a family member, your significant other -- or a pig. Her name is Kim. You can call her Kim.
How about that, hey?
~MJ
Timmy's gone wild for this gal named Kim. At least they're roughly the same age. He told me that he was having a hard time telling her that he loved her. And I decided that he needed a list of rules and boudaries to base his relationships with young ladies on. And thus, "Rules for Appropriate Conduct with Young Ladies" was born. (Keep in mind that this was written to a teenager who has no business being involved with young ladies right now at a level deeper than friendship.)
Rules for Appropriate Conduct with Young Ladies
1. You're 15. You don't even know what love is yet, really. Tell her that you appreciate her. The word "love" should always be reserved for your family and your fiancee. She is neither.
2. When you're 15, it's appropriate to talk with her and hang out. Nothing more.
3. When you're at an age where it would be appropriate to consider marriage, then it would be appropriate for you to tell her that you loved her, but not until you were fairly certain that you were going to really be getting married.
4. Hugging is ok, but only when it is clear that you're only doing it because you see her as a sister and you are doing it as a brother. UNLESS you were in a romantic relationship with her.
5. Once you reach an age where it would be appropriate to consider marriage and you were in a relationship with a girl, it would be appropriate to hold hands and hug, but only after you were reasonably certain that you were going to get married. This doesn't mean that you have to wait until the day before you propose. It just means that you shouldn't be rushing into things.
6. Once you get engaged, it is ok to kiss her, but you need to be careful what ind of kissing you're doing -- in other words, no tongue! It makes it too easy to move on to other stuff.... I would suggest short kisses and avoid the mouth as much as possible.
7. When you are married, you can sleep with her.
8. Until you're married, no touching her posterior.
9. Never use the L-word unless you are in a romantic or familial relationship with someone of the opposite gender. It is too awkward for everyone involved. Instead, say, "I appreciate you."
10. No calling someone of the opposite gender "Babe" unless she is a family member, your significant other -- or a pig. Her name is Kim. You can call her Kim.
How about that, hey?
~MJ
posted by Mari Kate @ 8:12 PM
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