In which the scintillating bathing suit is found!

Here is my story:

Evan grasped the limb firmly and pulled himself up into the tree. He was searching for a comfortable place to sleep for a few hours. His hand touched something soft.
"I wonder what this could be," he thought to myself. He picked the item up to investigate. It sparkled in the moolight as he brought it closer to his eyes. "It has diamonds stuck to it! What is this?" As he looked closer, he realized that it was a woman’s bathing suit with diamonds sewn on it. He was overcome with an urge to conceal the thing, for fear that someone would realize what wealth he had found. Quickly, he removed his clothes and put the bathing suit on and put his clothes back on over the top of it. Then he settled into a little nook in the tree and quickly fell asleep.

When Evan woke up, he decided to inquire about the value of diamonds at the local jeweler. He suspected that there were 300 small diamonds sewn to the bathing suit. He began walking through the rainforest. It was only a few miles to the nearest town. He began to whistle as he walked.

A woman with bushy, curly blonde hair and a red-splotched face ran into the road in front of him. "Where is my bathing suit?" she screamed. "I left it sitting on my table and now it’s gone!"

Evan wasn’t sure what to make of that. As he approached where she was standing, he said, "Calm down Ma’am. Maybe I can help you find it. What’s your name? Can you tell me what the bathing suit looked like?"

"My name is Barbie. I’m here from America and I’m here with a group of high school students. We’re exploring the rainforest as a school project. I left my bathing suit on the floor in the hut I was staying in and I went to sleep.When I woke up, it was gone!"

"But what does it look like?" Evan asked.

"It’s . . . Wait . . . I can see something through your shirt. Are you wearing my bathing suit?"

"I . . . I . . . Don’t know. I just found it. I don’t know where it came from and I didn’t want to lose it, so I put it on under my clothes. So much for concealing it. What does your bathing suit look like, Barbie? If I am indeed wearing your bathing suit, I will return it."

"It’s red with rhinestone diamonds. I wore it in a beauty contest and I need it back because it’s my only link to my past as a beauty queen."

Evan stared at her. "You were in a beauty contest?" he thought to himself. He took in her splotchy cheeks, the dull blue eyes, the scars on her cheeks, the frizzy hair.

"It’s called make up, honey. And colored contacts. Hair care products work too. I don’t do it anymore because it takes too much time."

"But did you have that little quirk with your arm back then?" he asked bluntly.

"Nah," she said. "I kinda had a little accident and I couldn’t get to a doctor before the bone started to heal. I was in a primitive environment where there were no doctors. They couldn’t get me to a larger village so they just let it heal like this. It made me angry and before I left, I strangled three newborn infants. I purposefully stayed until the three women gave birth, I stangled their children and I left. They never suspected it was me." At least, if they did, it never got back to me."

Evan stared at her, wondering if he should run, wondering if his life was in danger.

"Honestly, ma’am. I didn’t take your bathing suit. I found a red bathing suit in a tree. I was trying to find a place to sleep, and there it was. I don’t know how it got there, although I suspect that a sloth probably found it’s way to your hut, was attracted to its scintillating in the moonlight and took it to his tree where I found it. Here, I’ll take it off," he said as he began to strip.

"No, no . . ." she said. "Go into the hut. You don’t have to take it off out here."

He looked at her again and decided that he couldn’t trust her to not murder him, so he said, "I’ll just go over there behind that bush. I’ll be back in a minute."

He brought the bathing suit back and smiled as he handed it to her. "By the way, Barbie, if you would like, I could try to fix your arm for you. I’m an orthopedic specialist. I’d love to take a look at it, but I have one condition."

"What’s that?" she asked.

"You have to promise me that you won’t strangle any more babies -- or anything else."

She smiled. "It’s a deal."