In which I can't sleep

So . . . I have not been sleeping well lately. Not sure why. I had weird dreams last night and woke up exteremely early. I'm thoroughly exhausted. I tried to go to bed but I couldn't sleep. I am so sad because I may not be able to see my relatives that I haven't seen since 2001 because my supervisor forgot that I had asked for a day off and she can't change anything after the schedule is made. I know that God has a reason and I can rest in that, but it's really hard for me to keep that in the front of my mind when I know that it's entirely possible that I may never have another chance to see some of my family ever again.

Kelly found two people who are interested in renting with us! Yay! Now we need to get together and talk about getting money together and rules and stuff -- AND find a place to rent.

Eric and Jason made me watch Dumb and Dumber on Sunday. I could feel my brain cells dying as each second progressed. It's almost as dumb as Napoleon Dynamite. Proof that my brain cells died: I can't spell that last title. At least, I don't THINK that's right -- but I have no idea. It was hilarious when we were watching Dumb and Dumber because they came over and said we should watch a movie and I was like "ok . . . " and they selected Dumb and Dumber and I said, "I'm going to leave if you insist on watching that." Eric said, "Pretend we're back in Florida. It's a new experience for you." I said, "No!" He said, "What are you going to do? Leave?" I said, "YES!" and I walked out of the apartment. A few seconds later, Eric came out looking for me -- it was great. I feel like I'm living in a big happy Friends world -- minus all the making out and not-funny jokes. We do have jokes and stuff, but at least they're funny -- and no one is insulted by them.

My roomies are gone. Maybe that's another reason I'm so sad. They should get back sometime tomorrow.

I talked to Joyce, our church secretary today. When I was little, I listened to this radio show that had a segment on it called "Church Secretary" where a church secretary, Elsie Bjornstad, had to figure out all the mysteries that went on at church -- like why everyone asked for seconds during communion one week (someone replaced the grape juice with real wine) or why everyone got a funny rash on Christmas Eve, which prompted them to cancel the Christmas Eve service (someone was spraying a homemade cologne around the church that contained an ingredient that caused skin irritation). Joyce is kinda like that. 'Cept her mysteries are of a much, much more sensitive nature. I went to tell her my story. She told me that the Our Father is a really good prayer and I should pray that God's will be done rather than tell Him what I think His will is -- even if He's revealed to me what His will is, I should pray for His will, not what I think He has revealed to me. She said that praying for what would make us happy is putting God in a box -- and He's too big to put in a box. His plans are too big for a box. When she said that, I thought of Abby. Abby is about to have a baby, and she looks like she's going to pop if that baby doesn't come out pretty soon. God is like that baby and the box is like Abby. That little space is too confining for the baby, and it just has to get out. Likewise, God's going to pop out of my little box -- and like giving birth, it's going to be neither comfortable nor fun for either of us. It will be extremely painful for me because I may have to give up what I had thought was from Him, and it will be painful for Him too, because He's going to see my pain and He's going to cry because I hurt.

Someone might be coming this weekend. That's probably why I can't sleep. Stupid. If I could change the world, I'd make everyone born with a little plaque that said who they were going to marry so it wouldn't be such a pain. I suppose the mystery makes it fun, but it sure is a pain when you just want to be friends with someone and it's really awkward because someone else got involved and caused a lot of questions to rise and neither has the guts to bring it up to the other so the questions can be put to rest.

Now I'm rambling. I'm so exhausted. According to Tori, that means that I'm extremely depressed and I'm holding it in and I need serious help. Or else, I'm just tired and need some serious sleep.
~MK

In which someone must have spiked my punch

For some reason, I've found myself laughing hysterically at commercials. This is very strange for me . . . I think someone must have spiked my punch.

One of my roomies was watching The Price is Right. It was SO great because they said that Campus Crusade for Christ was there that day. It made me miss Cru . . . I never thought that was possible. After seeing that, I don't know if I could ever pull off just leaving them. I'm pretty sure I couldn't.
~MK

In which my life seems like a never ending movie

I have made my decision. I am quitting Z's team. It's different this time. It's because I really don't have time for it because of my job. I could do another team and will ask to be placed somewhere else if they feel I am an appropriate person for any of the teams, but it will be completely their decision.

I feel as if my life is almost like a never-ending combination Cinderella/modern chick-flick story. My life pretty much stinks until I get to dance with the prince and then the music stops, the clock strikes and I have to do the honorable thing -- I have to run away. The difference is that the prince never comes looking for me. I have to go back to my evil stepmother and stepsisters until the next ball, where I dance with the prince again, the music stops, the clock strikes, and I honorably run away. And the prince doesn't come. Over and over again. I have to work so hard to prove my worth, and I succeed. I dance with the prince, but then the music stops. The clock strikes. And I have to run away.

Life stinks . . .
~MK

In which my apartment slowly but surely moves upstairs

When I returned from class on Friday, my apartment door was just a little further east than it had been when I left. It's been steadily moving east ever since, and now it has begun to make its way up the steps. I'm not exactly sure where it's headed or how long it will take to get there, but I have a strong suspicion that it's headed for the Andys' apartment.

Ok, so that part is obviously fabricated. My entire apartment isn't moving up there, but the stuff IN it is. Beich's first day here, he came down and borrowed two dining room chairs. On Friday night, he borrowed the VCR. And today . . . well, that's another story . . .

I returned from church this afternoon and called my brother to chit-chat. After a while, someone knocked on the door and when I bid my guests enter, in walked no other than Beich and Andy. (Andy was singing -- isn't that sweet??) They grabbed the other two dining room chairs and I said, "What are you doing?" Since I was still on the phone, they didn't say anything. Then I said, "You're taking my chairs?" in an incredulous tone.Andy said, "Yeah" and stood there looking at me. I said, "Ok . . . " and they picked up the booty and walked out. As they were leaving, I said to my brother, "I should have told them they couldn't take them until they returned the other two . . . AND the VCR."
~MJ

In which I FINALLY get a sunburn!

Cripes! What I have to go through to get a sunburn . . . I've been trying to get a burn since March, and it's never worked out. Today, I decided to go to a park and read my book. I was out there for about an hour and a half and I looked at my skin when I left and I was like, "No burn . . . AGAIN!" Sadly, I had a delayed reaction to my sun exposure. Three hours later, Shannon came home from the pool and she said, "You're burned!" I said, "It doesn't hurt . . . " Ten minutes later, I looked at my arms and they were both bright pink. I think it was a glow-in-the-dark effect -- I took a nap and when I woke up, I was all red. It didn't hurt until I put lotion on it. Now it hurts like the dickens . . .
~MJ

In which . . . you'll figure it out when you read it

Forward Motion
~Relient K

Whoa-o...I’ve been banging my head against the wall
Whoa-o...for so long it seems I knocked it down,
yeah it got knocked down
Whoa-o...and the heating bill went through the roof
Whoa-o...and the wall I knocked down was the proof
That my landlord needed to kick me out

I got evicted now I’m living on the street
My spirits lifted...oh wait, that wasn’t me
Too many turns have turned out to be wrong
This time I learned that, I knew it all along

When car crashes occur
Then I’ll be what you were
When I see what I should
When I see that it’s good (that it’s good)

To experience the bittersweet
To taste defeatThen brush my teeth
Experience the bittersweet
To taste defeatThen brush my teeth

Cause I struggle with forward motion
I struggle with forward motion
We all struggle with forward motion
Cause forward motion is harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again
It’s harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again

Whoa-o...I’ve been banging my head against the wall
Whoa-o...for so long it seems I got knocked out.
yeah, I got knocked out cold
Whoa-o...and the medical bills went through the roof
Whoa-o...and the scar on my head is the proof
That I’ll still remember this when I get old
I got evicted now I’m living on the street
My spirits lifted...oh wait, that wasn’t me
Too many turns have turned out to be wrong
This time I learned that, I knew it all along

When I grasp the concept
Then I’ll sleep where you slept
When I know I need help
When I allow myself (allow myself)

To experience the bittersweet
To taste defeat
Then brush your teeth
Experience the bittersweet
To taste defeat
Then brush your teeth

Cause I struggle with forward motion
I struggle with forward motion
We all struggle with forward motion

Cause forward motion is harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again
It’s harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again

Cause I struggle with forward motion
Cause I struggle with forward motion
We all struggle with forward motion

(cause forward motion is harder than it sounds.
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again
Cause forward motion is harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again)

Cause I struggle with forward motion
Cause I struggle with forward motion
We all struggle with forward motion
Cause I struggle with forward motion
Cause I struggle with forward motion
We all struggle with forward motion

In which I walk alone

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I wish I didn't like this song. Liking something means that you can identify with it in some way. It's emotionally difficult to be able to identify with something this sad.

Last night I came to the end of it all. I mean, I'm alive and . . . not exactly well . . . what I mean is that the things I was clinging to ended. I used to be so sad all the time. I had no hope at all. It is so difficult to live without hope. You want to die every single day. But then Andy happened. I guess he didn't really HAPPEN. He's always been. But I started to allow myself to feel and in allowing myself to feel, I had to start to accept myself and find something to like about myself because if I couldn't, then who could? In allowing myself to like someone else and in finding likable stuff about myself, I found a sense of purpose. I found things that I was good at and that I liked. For almost 6 months, my life was almost happy. (There were some difficult times, but not as many as before and they didn't hurt as much.)

And then this weekend happened. First, in trying to talk to my brother, I found that things will never be like they used to be. He's always going to be too busy for me. My relationship with him is always going to be one where I can only talk to him on rare occasions and only for a few minutes, and I may never physically see him again. That hurt. We used to be so close. Now it's all gone.

Then I found out that Andy and Scoop had done stuff with Shannon and Ann all weekend and they didn't ask me to do anything with them. That hurt . . . And they left without saying anything. That hurt too. It was almost like I didn't matter.

I felt like I had lost two of the same thing within 24 hours, and it really, really hurt. I had been praying about Andy as I felt the Lord leading me to do, and I decided that I had had enough. Who does he think he is to treat me like that? I was NOT going to be treated like that. I determined that I was through with him. No more. The end.

I cried. I cried until I fell asleep last night and I woke up and prayed that I'd be able to let go of him and still be sane. Then I called one of my friends and talked about it and that made me feel better. But I was still sad. I almost cried as I started writing this blog, but I couldn't let myself because I had an interview and I didn't need to mess up my makeup. I felt so hopeless and like my life was over. I felt like I had not only lost my brother and my friend, but I had also lost my reason to be in school. I don't want a job in Psych and I was basing my writing on things that have happened to me as a result of this thing with Andy, so my whole reason for being here ended.

My day was made a tad better by a job offer from Shopko. Yay! I think I'll love working there. We get every other weekend off! Yay! The people that interviewed me were SO nice and it was really great.

I went to church and I talked to a lady about what was going on. I told her the whole story from back in Dec. when I was horribly depressed all the time to allowing myself to feel in Jan., to Florida to Easter to Sioux Falls to Timmy to talking to Andy in the hall the next night to Wisconsin to this weekend and all the stuff in between, and that made me feel better. And I realized that my refusing to pray was really arrogant. I was refusing because "how dare he treat me like that???" How dare I have that attitude? How dare I refuse what I believe God has spoken to me? How dare I reject His words when my rejection is based solely on my own feelings and insecurities? How dare I? The lady told me that she would pray for me, and not only for me, but for Andy as well, that the Lord would reveal to him the same things that He has revealed to me. That is pretty sweet! And I feel better about praying for that myself, too.
~MK

In which I'm not cold

The only time I'm ever warm is when I'm on the worship team at church. I was at practice today and I completely overheated. I was perspiring, and that NEVER happens . . . I shiver much more frequently than I perspire . . . I looked at myself in the mirror driving back to my apartment and my face was all red, even!

Lalala . . . I've come to the conclusion that the only communication there will ever be between Athletic Math Boy and myself is "What did you do today?" on his part and "I went to class and played word association" on mine. I suggested to various of my friends and acquaintances that I should say "I was thinking about you all day long" next time he asks. My roomie told me that I HAVE to say it because she wants to see how he'll react. Lol -- this is gonna be fun . . . I HOPE we see him tonight and I hope he asks because here is what I'm going to say:

"I thought about you all day long -- except when I tried to call my brother and he told me that he was on call and had service calls backed up and he'd be working all day and into the night and probably all day tomorrow, which made me really, really mad because he always uses his job as an excuse to not talk to me. And when I was talking to my sister-in-law about being mad at Andy because he wouldn't talk to me and when I was talking to Dave and Timmy and reading my book and washing the dishes and paying my bills and when I was at church for practice -- and those things pretty much took all day, so you know how important you are to me . . . "

Lol -- that would be hilarious . . . Last night, when I was telling Athletic Math Boy what I had done yesterday, I mentioned that I had tried to take a nap but Beich woke me up. He said, "Beich will do that . . . " I said, "It was ok. I wasn't quite sleeping when he knocked on the door. My feet were cold . . . " My roomie said, "How can you be that cold all the time?" I told them it was because my body temp is only about 96* and Athletic Math Boy said, "You're just cold-blooded." I was telling my sister-in-law about it and I said, "I should have said 'maybe I'd turn into a princess if you kissed me . . . '" Yeah . . . She says I have that cleverness in me, I just need to come up with these things at a time when they're actually USEFUL. I suppose that WOULD help a little bit . . .
~MK

In which men are annoying

I think I finally understand why some women have horrible attitudes about men. You know the ones that can't say anything nice about men and act like they hate them. I think it's because they secretly like someone who either doesn't like them back or else gives them weird signals that they don't know how to interpret. These women base their attitude toward the entire male gender on one person. That is so sad . . . Yet another reason why women are evil.

"Pizza Ranch" takes on a whole new meaning: One night, my roomie and I were hungry so we had a pizza. She said, "I like ranch with my pizza." I said, "That kinda gives Pizza Ranch a whole new meaning, doesn't it?" I tried it and it was amazing. Wow!

I learned what rebounding is. And my roomie is going to teach me all about fouling. I can hardly wait! It's so sad being sportsologically challenged . . .

~MK

In which it stinks to not have a job

Who knows when I'll be able to shop for groceries again? I'm eating my strawberry applesauce in baby bites so that maybe I won't get hungry again so soon. I've determined that I will never be anorexic. I couldn't do it. I'd go crazy. I saw a commercial for the club chalupa and I was like, "Dude -- I WANT ONE!" Yeah -- it's pretty sad when I'm hungry enough that I want something from a taco place.

My leg and foot hurt like the dickens. Is it perhaps because I'm lacking in calcium and potassium and it's cramping?

Last night I went to Perkins with Kelly. I only had pie which was only a dollar but now that I think about it, that money probably would have been better spent on a loaf of bread or a jar of peanut butter. Anyway, Rob and Matt and Randy were there too, and Randy came over to talk to Kelly and me, and Sue said, "Stop flirting with the girls, Randy." I said, "But Sue . . . He's not flirting with us because we're not flirting back." Then Randy said, "You look so nice tonight." I said, "No I don't . . . " He said, "Your hair is so pretty . . . " I said, "No it's not." Matt came over while this interaction was going on and I began to explain prepositions and how if someone does something WITH someone, the other person has to be doing it too. Matt said to Randy, "It sounds like a polite way of shooting you down . . . " A little while later, Randy asked if he could sit by me in the booth, and I said, "I guess you can -- if you really HAVE to."

*Sniffle* Applesauce all gone . . .
~MK

In which we explore PB&J

I'm eating raw veggies in lieu of dinner. I just learned how poor I really am a little while ago, and with no potential employers calling me with positive news, I feel the need to . . . NOT eat anything that I don't NEED to eat. And so, I am eating baby carrots, green peppers and cucumbers for dinner. Yum. A veggie stir-fry would be so yummy right now.

I'm really digging the notion of having a job. PB&J gets a little crappy after you eat it for nearly every meal for nearly a week. I'm not saying it's not still yummy -- it's just that hot food would be really, really good for a change . . . Does anyone have any creative ways to make PB&J? I've done the traditional sandwiches with milk, traditional sandwiches with water (Getting low on milk . . . ), and toasted sandwiches. Any other creative ways?

And I've learned that it's not the flavor of the jelly that counts with PB&J. It's the essence of Jelly. Every flavor tastes just as yummy as the last. (Except for strawberry, which makes me quite nauseous as a result of taking amoxicillin for too many years as a young child.) It's the essence of jelly that makes PB&J so tantilizing to the tastebuds. Just the fact that the jelly is THERE. Yum.

~MK

In which Herpes takes over the universe

Is anyone else out there seriously sick of Valtrex commercials? My roomie and Beich and I were hanging out, watching a little TV when the Valtrex commercial came on -- AGAIN . . . I said, "When I was young, they never had commercials about herpes . . . " Five minutes later, it was on again and I said, "Herpes commercials are the most annoying commercials ever." Beich said, "We should write a song about it!" He ran upstairs to get his guitar and he and Shannon wrote a song about herpes, during which time, the Valtrex commercial played 3 more times. They sang the song which was hilarious, and after they were done, the commercial played again, and Beich said, "Speak of the devil . . . " I think herpes is taking over the world. Isn't it interesting that when I said that the commercial was really annoying they decided to write a song about it?? (I still love Shannon and Beich.)

It's a brand new day . . .
~MK

In which I share my skewed views on sports

The Lakers. You know, the one that Kobe Bryant plays for. And Shaq. And let's not forget Tiger Woods' proudly shooting homeruns for the greatest football team in the NHL. The Lakers are proud to have some of the greatest athletes in history on their team. Payne Stewart . . . Roger Maris . . . Jeff Gordon . . . Brett Farve . . . Kirby Puckett . . . Danica Patrick . . . Larry Bird . . . Lance Armstrong . . . Mary Lou Retton . . . Andre Agassi . . . Tara Lipinski . . . Patrick Roy . . . And let's not forget Michael Jackson, doing his thang during half-time of every game -- whatever "his thang" might consist of -- I'm afraid to find out. Could be anything from shaking his tush to dangerous stunts involving his poor, innocent children. Everyone aught to cheer for the greatest football team in the NHL. All the way from Los Angeles, give it up for the LAKERS!!
~MK

In which I go shopping and other stuff

Sorry it's been a while. I have had a crazy month of May -- I worked at my aunt's lake cabin the Thursday and Friday of finals week, came back to sing at graduation and went home immediately after graduation. The following Tuesday, I went to my favorite basketball player's house and stayed with his family overnight and then he and his brother and Brenda and I went to pick up Z and Ann and we were on our way to Wisconsin. We were there for 5 days and then we went back to my favorite basketball player's house and Brenda and I immediately left for home. It was sad . . . Two days later, I went to the lake again and worked 24 hours between noon on Tuesday and midnight on Wednesday. It was nuts! But I made an awesome paycheck! I applied for jobs on Thursday and went home on Friday and I just got back tonight at about 8. I'm going to be staying around here at least until July unless something comes up . . .

Hoping to be able to go to SonShine in July.

When I was home, I went shopping with my sis-in-law. It was amazing! I love shopping with her! We got three pairs of dress pants -- one plain black, one black with pink pinstripes, and one black with white pinstripes. I also got 6 sweaters -- a red one, a pink one, a green one, two purple ones and a funky black and white striped one with pink accents. We got all that for $145. Everything was either on sale or on clearance, and if we had paid full price, the total would have been about $345! I also got a nice tanktop thing and a pink bra and a yellow bra.

I was sick while I was home, which is sad . . . I took my temp multiple times, and my highest temp was 98.1 -- hm . . . maybe it was in celcius . . . My lowest temp was 95.9. I think maybe the reason that I'm always cold is because my normal body temp is only in the 96 range -- most of my temps were about 96.6.

I decided today that I am supposed to be skinny -- or at least, skinnier. I was looking at my limbs -- my wrists and hands, to be exact -- while I was driving home tonight, and yeah -- my wrists are really skinny. Well, not really -- just little in comparison to my . . . little . . . brother who is like twice my size. My wrists and my hands are so small and I think I was made to be little in every way. I need to stop using eating as a coping mechanism . . . I mean, I know God is the only thing that will really satisfy me, so why do I keep allowing myself to do this? Why do I allow myself to do ANYTHING I do to make myself feel better?

Going home was a spur of the moment decision on Thursday night. I called my mom on Friday morning and asked if I could come and she said it was ok and I told her to not tell my brothers because I wanted to surprise them. When I got home, my mom told me that my brothers were upstairs so I called Timmy's cell phone and told him that I thought that it was really, really important that he go downstairs as soon as possible and I told him I had to go. We have a door at the bottom of the steps so I stood by the door and when Timmy opened the door, he screamed. Then he screamed again. When he got done screaming, he said, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming???" Then he yelled up the stairs, "DAVE! Mari Jo's here!!! Mari Jo's here!!!" Dave came running and he said "Why didn't you tell us you were coming??" We had lots of fun but by Monday I couldn't handle it anymore -- there's only so much one girl can take before she goes completely crazy. I walked down to the river which is about 10 blocks from my house and sat and stared at the river for about an hour. (I like water a lot . . . ) When I was on my way back, they called me again and asked where I was and if I wanted to go shopping with them. Tuesday I didn't want to get out of bed because I knew I wouldn't have a minute of peace unless I could slip out when the boys weren't looking. Timmy wanted me to watch "Ladder 49" with him which is an awesome movie although extremely sad. It's about the Baltimore Fire Department -- if you're bored sometime, it would be a good one to see. It's a wonderful movie. In the afternoon, I told my dad that I was going to the river again and to tell my mom when she came in because I didn't know where she was. He said, "Tim's not going with you?" I said, "He doesn't know I'm going -- and don't tell him!" When I got back, my mom said, "Tim didn't go with you?" He didn't realize I was gone until I got back, which was pretty sweet. I saw a guy pull in a huge catfish and then he let it go right away. Why do people go fishing if they don't intend to keep the fish they catch? Maybe catfish isn't a good kind of fish to eat -- I never claimed to know anything about fishing, although I DID catch a bass once and I have used blood and limburger bait which smells like the dickens. Hm . . . maybe that's why I hate fishing so much . . .

I watched Assault on Precint 13 today -- awful movie. DON'T WATCH IT!

I also saw Fat Albert -- wonderful movie. I loved this quote: Don't let fear keep you from caring about someone. I should probably remember that . . .

My brother got his ears pierced. He's a wild one . . . He did cartilagenous piercings in both ears. The Sunday afternoon that I was home the first time, he got the right one done, and he said that it hurt so much that he told them not to do the left one. I told him that if you get a piercing, it means that you like boys -- but I didn't know which ear represented that. So, my sis-in-law called her sis-in-law and asked her, and it turned out that it's the right ear. I told my brother that he was going to have guys hitting on him if he kept it. Two days later, he had the other one done. Last night, he took the right ring out because he said that he was sick of having guys hit on him. Good choice . . . Now he only whines because he has to wear a hat whenever he's at home because the only worse thing he could do in my parents' eyes is father a child.

Beautiful One I love
Beautiful One I adore
Beautiful One my soul must sing
You opened my eyes to Your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Nothing on earth is a beautiful as You.

On my drive home, I was pondering something that my grandma said to me last night. She told me that Grandpa worries because I don't have a job yet, and he worries so much that he loses sleep over it. She also told me that it's ok to skip church for work for the Summer, because I really need the money. Both statements are quite tragic. One of my favorite Bible passages is quoted below (NKJV):

Matthew 6:24-34
"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. Psalm 50:10 says that God "owns the cattle on a thousand hills" (NLT). If God owns everything down to all the cows on any given thousand islands, er, thousand hills, then He has the ability to provide whatever it is that you're needing. If God knows that you need something, which He DOES according to Matthew 6:32, then He can and will provide those needs as long as you do what verse 33 says: "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Skipping church to work would be providing for my own needs in my own strength and not trusting God to pull through on this bargain He's made with those of us who call Him our Savior. I'd get so burned out if I even tried. Skipping church is NOT an option unless it's rare and for a good reason.

My grades were spectacular this semester! I got a 3.66!!! Whee!

~MK